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What are six expectations an Amiable has regarding your conflict resolution meeting?
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What are nine points in a checklist of things not to do when anticipating a conflict with an Amiable?
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What are specific actions you need to take to prepare for your next important meeting with an Amiable in your facility?

Transcript of Track 13

On the last track we discussed expectation, strategies, do's and don'ts if you find you are in conflict with a expressive in your facility.

This track is entitled the most dangerous team member. The most dangerous team member is the one who has the communication style opposite of yours. Task-focused, assertive Drivers and people-focused non-assertive Amiables are opposites. And as you might guess, people-focused assertive Expressives are opposite from task-focused, non-assertive Analyticals. For the purposes of this track, since I am a Driver, I would like to explore how, for me, Amiables are the most dangerous staff member with whom I would need to build a team relationship. They are the most challenging or as the track is entitled dangerous, for me as a Driver because I need to completely shift my communication style to the opposite of what it normally is.

Track 9 provided you with specific information how each communication style can best create a teamwork atmosphere with the amiable. So, even if you are not a Driver, what do you do if you are involved in a conflict with a facility staff member whom you have decided is an amiable? On the rest of this track we will discuss expectations that the amiable has, and strategies for giving the amiable what he or she expects. At the end of the track you will be provided with a checklist of do’s and don’ts to shift your communication style to create a team building atmosphere with the amiable staff member in your facility and resolve the conflict.

Regarding the personality of the amiable, the following expectations will have a major impact when you are starting into your conflict resolution meeting with an amiable. First, you might consider thinking how you can go about starting with an open, honest atmosphere leaving time to develop a relationship with the amiable staff member. Be prepared to show concern for the amiable’s position and interests in the conflict. The bottom line is… amiables expect a person to be trustworthy, friendly, and most importantly non-aggressive. Do you see how the amiables style conflicts with the task-focused, assertive Driver?

Next, decide how you can position yourself as being reliable regarding handling the issue. The reason for this is that the amiable likes to know that he or she can depend on you. When presenting your side of the argument, the amiable will be more interested in your experience and the experience of others, rather than, as in the case of the Analytical, facts and figures. Fourth, amiables value quality regarding the actions that you take.

Here are some things to do when headed into your meeting with an amiable with whom you wish to build a team relationship. Start, however briefly, with a personal comment to break the ice. Show sincere interest in the amiable as a person. Find areas of common interest to chit-chat about. You may recall a similar chit-chat approach was used with the Expressive. Patiently draw out personal goals and work with the amiable to see if you can help him or her achieve the goals he or she views as important. Really listen and be responsive. Present your case softly and non-threateningly.

Ask “how?” questions to draw out the amiable’s opinions. Remember Amiables are relatively non-assertive, and asking how is a good way to get their buy-in or commitment to a resolution to the conflict. Watch carefully for possible areas of early disagreement or dissatisfaction. If you disagree, be aware of creating hurt feelings or personal reasons the Amiable may have for the disagreement. Move casually and informally. You can see this is opposite of the businesslike approach with the driver. If appropriate, clearly define, preferably in writing, individual contributions that are to be made to the solution of the challenge you are addressing. Since Amiables are people-focused and not task-focused, this written listing will be beneficial. For this same reason, don’t leave them without backup support.

If appropriate, provide guarantees that their decision will minimize risks and give assurances that provide them with benefits. Provide personal assurances and clear, specific solutions with maximum guarantees. However, don’t offer assurances and guarantees you can’t fulfill.

Here is your checklist of things not to do when trying to resole a conflict with an amiable. Don’t rush headlong into business or your agenda right away. Don’t stick coldly or harshly to business; on the other hand, don’t lose sight of the goal of the meeting by being too personal, little may be accomplished. Don’t force them to respond quickly to your objectives; don’t say: “Here is how I see it.” Don’t be domineering or demanding; don’t threaten with a position power. Don’t debate regarding facts and figures.

Of course, don’t manipulate or bully them into agreeing because they probably won’t fight back. If you do bully an Amiable, you will be under the illusion you have gained compliance. Also, don’t keep deciding for them or they’ll lose initiative.

A secretly disgruntled amiable will sand-bag, back stab, or sabotage you or your project when they can. However, don't go overboard, and patronize or demean The Amiable staff member with whom a conflict has arisen by using insulting, talking-down-to-them, language. As mentioned earlier, but it bears repeating, don’t be abrupt, move rapidly, or be vague.

This track was entitled “the most dangerous team member.” As mentioned earlier the reason I define the amiable as the most dangerous staff member, especially for the Driver, is because they can give you lip service that agrees with your decision, but if you do not treat them with respect or show genuine caring about them they can be your worst enemy, rallying others with whom they have made personal bonds against you. It is hoped this track regarding conflict resolution with amiables is played often because it provides you with specific, proven strategies, do's, and don'ts with the amiable.

When you hear the musical tone, turn your CD player off and either review in your mind or write down specific actions you need to take to prepare for your next important meeting with an Amiable in your facility. MUSIC

On the last track we will discuss conflict resolution with an analytical staff member with whom you wish to build a teamwork relationship.

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