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Section 23
3 Essential Staff Communication Rules
Time outs, Active Listening and Journaling


Table of Contents | NCCAP/NCTRC CE Booklet

The first communication tool we will discuss is taking a Time-Out in the conversation.  Taking a time-out can be a great team building tool.  By time-out, I mean you intentionally stop the flow of communication.  To assess the need for a Time-out, the motto might be, “stop, look and listen.”  While you’re communicating with the other staff member, a time-out may be needed. 

Pressure to respond right away
When you feel pressure to respond right away, you do have a choice whether to take some time to collect yourself. Even if it is only a few minutes to collect yourself and make up your mind. Don’t overlook this delay tactic. Start to challenge the assumption that you have to respond right away.

1. Time-out is sometimes essential for effective Culture Change implementations. Three situations that might call for a time-out are:
a. confusing situations
b. times when you aren’t sure how you feel about what is being discussed
c. times when you aren’t sure what you want to have happen.

By taking a time out, you will be able to respond more clearly in the next meeting.  Also, a time out defuses a highly emotional situation.   Here are some ways to take a time or buy time, when you are not ready to solidify your concern or frustration.

Ways to take a Time-Out.
“I will have to get back with you regarding that.  Would this time next week work for your schedule?”
“Susan, you have a good point.  I will need to check the CMS Regs/administrator/DON regarding that.”
“Yes, I know your schedule is tight.  I will reassess Esther’s current mental and physical ability to make sure she still has an interest and is capable of attending Bible Study.”
“Let me get back to you on that.”
“I’m not sure how I feel, let me think about it.”
“Before I say yes I need to check a few things.”
“I’m feeling very upset about this now, I’ll talk with you later, but right now I need some time out.”
“This isn’t a good time for me to respond, how about if I call you in the morning?”

2. Active Listening - a miraculous communication skill.
Notice how in the previous examples for time out I started by empathetically seeing the situation from Susan’s point of view by stating, “Susan, you have a good point…”  Most people feel that listening is a passive communication skill.  However, active listening is just that.  Active listening is anything but passive.  One skill is paraphrasing.

Paraphrase back to someone what you think they are saying. When you paraphrase, you are rephrasing, summarizing, or interpreting. The benefits of paraphrasing are:
a. You act as a sounding board for the other staff member to express ideas.
b. You check out what you hear them saying to see if you are hearing them accurately.
c.  You get verification if you were right or a clarification.
d.  Postpone advice of opinions until you hear it all.
e.  You convey understanding and acceptance.

This simple feedback active listening loop of rephrasing, summarizing, or interpreting can produce miracles. As you may be aware, active listening is very effective way of calming residents down. Practice with another Activities staff member.

Write the name of a staff member with whom you might practice active listening.

3. Journal techniques. After you have conversed with the other staff member, you might consider journaling or writing down what occurred to evaluate what you did well and what you would like to change the next time, or do the same the next time you converse with the staff member regarding Culture Change implementation. Writing things out leads to self awareness and self empowerment. If journaling isn’t your thing, consider writing a letter, which is not sent, to yourself or a supportive other.  In a letter or journal entry you can express all your feelings. This is a healthy release and helps you sort things out. Write to your self or conflicting parts of yourself. Remember the letter does not have to be mailed.


NCCAP/NCTRC CE Booklet
Forward to Section 24
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